


scared to be lonely

by beatboxbmo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Family Bonding, Fluff, M/M, Mild Language, Sick Character, oikawa tooru's family - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 06:29:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10551638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beatboxbmo/pseuds/beatboxbmo
Summary: With Tooru out of the picture, Hajime thinks he'll be perfectly fine.





	

**Author's Note:**

> for [jenjen92](https://jenjen92x.tumblr.com/) on tumblr as part of the iwaoi fic exchange~

Just like her son, Oikawa Tomiju is _loud_ , even when she doesn't mean to be. So it's easy for her to talk over the squabbling in the background as she leaves the message for Hajime.

He shouldn't be smiling over the fact that Tooru has been kidnapped, but he is. He's feeling almost... giddy, with the idea of being without his boyfriend for an entire _week_. The last time they were separated was some time in middle school when Tooru was invited to a sleepover and Hajime wasn't, but he still somehow managed to call Hajime every hour, so does it really count?

Hajime replays the message for the third time as he slips off his shoes by the front door and heads to the kitchen to start dinner.

_"Hajime dear, hello! It's Tomiju calling. I hope you've been doing well. I'm sure by now you've realized that Tooru isn't home, and unfortunately he won't be back all week. You see, Yasuo and I have decided that we need to spend a little more time together as a family. I know you drag Tooru down when you can and we appreciate that, but it's just been so long since we were all together, you know? The family camping trips we took when you kids were younger was always so much fun, and since we're not getting any younger we just wanted to spend some quality time together._

_"Now, listen. Where Yasuo and I are going we won't have any cell phone reception, so I'm making sure to call you now before we get there. Tooru's phone is dead so he won't be able to bother you while we're gone, either. If you need anything though, you can call my mother. She'll know how to reach us. And if she tries to get ahold of you, you better answer, alright? Now, I love my son but he has been whining in my ear for over an hour to talk to you so here he is."_

Her tone drops in annoyance before it becomes distant, and soon sniffling is filling his ears. Hajime snickers as he listens to Tooru's crocodile tears. Whether it's the loud voices of his siblings or Tooru's over-dramatics, all Hajime is able to understand is "I'm surrounded by monsters" before there's a shout. Kotone screams into the phone about sending help, to call her fiancé and let him know she's been kidnapped too, but then Tomiju is yelling again and the line goes dead.

There were a couple texts following the voice mail, with another reminder to call Tomiju's mother if anything happens, and that they'll be back next Friday some time late in the afternoon. A garbled line of words he's sure belong to Tooru fill the last message.

Hajime's smile widens.

The apartment is silent, and will be for an entire week. Is this real? Is Hajime dreaming?

After pulling leftovers from the fridge, he double checks the apartment, making sure his idiot boyfriend isn't hiding in the closet or bathroom. But nope, it's completely empty. Surprisingly enough, most of his belongings are still here. There's no clothes missing (besides what he wore that day, plus his practice uniform and gym bag), there's no missing toothbrush or hair care products, nothing taken from his sweets stash. It's like he really was kidnapped.

His shoulders relax as he soaks up the silence of their space. He can actually listen to the oldies radio station Tooru mocks him for, he can walk around in his boxers without being attacked, he can even sleep without socks on and not worry about waking up without any blankets.

If he's being honest with himself, Hajime does already miss Tooru. But he's not going to waste this week. He's going to do all the things he normally can't do because he's being such an amazingly selfless, accommodating boyfriend that always gives in to his partner's needs that he never takes care of himself.

Making up his mind, he strips his shirt and toes off his socks with a grin. He's going to fucking _pamper_ himself this week.

-x-x-x-

He wakes up sweating, not used to being under so many covers, and yet somehow, his feet are freezing. He wants to reach over and smack Tooru for burying him under the blankets, and is surprised when he doesn't hear any obnoxious snoring beside him. His eyes fly open in search of his boyfriend, wondering where he could be. He's not a morning person, despite what people think, and even though Hajime himself doesn't like waking up most mornings, Tooru is the type that almost refuses to get out of bed.

So with the spot next to him empty, and no sound filtering in from the connected bathroom or kitchen, Hajime starts to worry. It's not like Tooru to disappear without letting Hajime know where he's going, even if it's just a quick trip to the bathroom. He's always loud, even half asleep, and Hajime can't imagine that for once in his life Tooru would be able to sneak away from him.

It's only when he's reached the living room and notices that Tooru's ugly alien slippers are sitting by the sofa that he remembers.

If Tooru goes anywhere for more than a day, he brings those slippers with him. Hajime figures he must be dying without them.

He sighs, shaking his head, more annoyed at his own forgetfulness then anything else.

He pushes Tooru to the back of his mind and starts his routine, finding it going by quicker without someone else hogging the bathroom or closet. He's able to cook shirtless without hearing whining about how unfair it is of Hajime to do so. He's even able to leave and get to work early, which has his coworker giving him a suspicious look.

"You're usually here right on the dot. What happened?"

Hajime just grins and shrugs, ignoring the way Suga's frown deepens.

"Guess it's just been an easy morning."

It sticks true all day. Without his phone constantly pinging in his pocket, it's easy for Hajime to not think about Tooru. He doesn't have to worry about how his classes are going, how practice is going, if he's overworking himself or not. All he has to focus on are his customers and avoiding Suga.

It's not that he doesn't want his only coworker/friend to know that his boyfriend is gone for the week; the two are actually really good friends, and he's glad Tooru has found some else he's completely comfortable with. But Suga also knows they've never been apart this long before, and he doesn't want his friend to worry. Or chide. Or say anything, really. Hajime knows he can take care of himself, and he's sure Suga won't miss the barrage of texts Tooru sends him.

Knowing there's no one back home waiting for him, Hajime pulls a double shift for the first time in ages. It wasn't planned, and he's exhausted by the end of it, but he can always use the extra cash. Maybe he'll even take another double shift tomorrow. Who knows, by the end of the week he could be rich.

On the train ride home, probably due to exhaustion, he's in the middle of typing a text to one of Tooru's teammates to ask how he's doing at practice, before he remembers.

He shuts his phone angrily and bangs his head against the train's window. He was doing so good today too. It probably is just the exhaustion. He's not used to working such a long shift; he'll go home, get some food in him, and go to bed early. And he can actually do that because there won't be any distractions.

Tooru being with his whole family is probably a good thing. They drive each other crazy and end up doing dumb shit (the last time Hajime can remember they were all together was during a holiday break a couple years ago, and the twins had talked Tooru and Masaru into a wrestling match on the roof that ended with a hole leading into their parent's room and three new patients at the local urgent care) but he also knows they all love each other. Mostly. Tomiju and Yasuo have nothing but love in them for their children, despite her yells and his exasperated sighs. They'd do anything for their kids. Masaru is a little uptight and reserved, being the eldest son and a lawyer, and Hajime doesn't think he's ever really heard the other male laugh, but he does have his own kids and a wife so he can't be completely heartless. Kioshi and Kotone are the type of twins that are complete opposites, so when they agree on something, it sends others into hiding. Last he heard, Kotone was getting married to some artist type and Kioshi had knocked up his girlfriend/coworker from the school he works at.

Suddenly, Hajime wonders if maybe the camping trip wasn't such a good idea.

He knows Tooru can hold his own. Being the baby of the family with older siblings, he'd always had to push himself harder to be heard and loved, and it's what's shaped him into the determined, stubborn asshole he is today. But Hajime also knows that, despite their ages and the time they've spent apart, Tooru has always had a soft spot for his siblings and the attention they give him, so Hajime worries that they might talk him into doing something stupid that could hurt his knee.

He starts to chew at his bottom lip when he gets to his apartment. It's cold and dark when he pushes the door open, and he has to let his eyes adjust for a moment before he can move. He doesn't remember the last time he came home and Tooru wasn't waiting for him. After an incident that almost ruined his volleyball career, Tooru strived to take better care of himself, and part of that included no late volleyball practices. At least not daily.

So Hajime would come home to a dimly lit apartment and _sounds_ and a warm hug from a clingy boyfriend that he would try to untangle himself from immediately. The TV would be on, or the radio, maybe some candles would be lit to freshen the place up. Tooru would have tidied the living room or cleaned out the overflowing sink. On more than one occasion Hajime has come back to a living room that has been completely rearranged.

Scowling, Hajime turns on all the lights in the apartment, even the one in their bedroom closet. He showers and changes then opens the fridge door to figure out what to eat for dinner. He's not really in the mood to cook (tonight was actually supposed to be Tooru's turn to cook) but he knows he needs to eat _something_. He might have skipped lunch to focus on work, and might have avoided an early dinner to finish his shift and catch one of the last trains heading his way. He'd order takeout, but he doesn't feel like talking to anyone right now, even for a short amount of time.

Finally, he settles on a can of soup. The TV gets flipped on and he finds a B-rated horror movie that he's caught before. With Tooru gone, he can actually watch all the scary movies he wants, and none of them have to have aliens in them or take place in space.

Resigning himself to that thought, Hajime forces himself to relax on the couch with a blanket draped over his legs and a bowl of soup warming his hands. He finds a movie about a family moving into an abandoned orphanage and settles in for a long night. He tries not to think about the empty space beside him.

-x-x-x-

He wakes up sweating again, his mind still replaying images from his dream/nightmare about Michael Myers dancing with a giant, mutated octopus on a frozen lake. The blankets are all piled near his neck and his feet are freezing again; he wants to reach over and hit Tooru for covering him again--before he remembers. He throws all the blankets to the floor and swings out of bed with an annoyed growl rattling through him.

No more horror movies before bed. Alone, at least. Usually he never has dreams like that. It wasn't even that scary either, but weird as fuck and he can't tell anyone about it to help get rid of the feelings. 

He's late waking up, and has to rush through a shower and a quick breakfast before leaving for his train, only to realize he's actually on time. He doesn't dwell on the fact that if Tooru were here, he might still be at home, wrestling for bathroom or closet time.

He gets to the restaurant right on time and swiftly takes up his place as a waiter.

It's easier to forget about Tooru being gone while he's working. Hungry people are demanding, and Hajime has to use all his focus on keeping his customers happy and pleased. His tips depend on his smile and easy-going attitude. His amazing accommodating skills are put to use as he swiftly and surely gets his customers whatever it is they need.

A coworker for the next shift calls in sick, and Hajime uses it as an excuse to take up another double shift. He knows it's a useless thought, but he doesn't want to walk into an empty apartment again. If he lets himself dwell on it it'll just make him miserable and he can't afford to be miserable at work. Unlike his boyfriend, he's not that great at putting on masks.

He doesn't bother with turning any lights on when he gets home, or even bother with making dinner. He clumsily makes his way to the bedroom, shedding his clothes before crawling into bed, curling up on Tooru's side of the mattress. He buries his face into Tooru's pillows, letting the smell wash over him. He manages to fool himself into thinking that Tooru is still here while he drifts asleep.

-x-x-x-

He's barely through the backdoor before Suga is literally shoving him back into the chilly morning.

"What the fuck?" Hajime tries to shout, but his voice cracks and he ends up coughing. Suga is shaking his head as he continues to push Hajime, surprisingly strong for his small frame. Hajime shouldn't really be surprised though: Suga is the one they call to deal with unruly, violent customers.

"You're not working today. Or the next two days."

Confusion swirls around Hajime's mind, then anger fills his chest followed by panic. He pictures his empty apartment and the unbearable silence that's starting to become stifling; he spins to face Suga.

"You're not my boss, I can work as much as I want. You can't take that from me."

"You can't work when you're falling apart, Iwaizumi."

" _I'm fine._ "

Suga shakes his head, a disappointed look on his face. Hajime's hands ball into fists. "You received a handful of complaints yesterday, and usually that's nothing to worry about, but _you_ never get complaints. What's going on, Iwaizumi?"

"I told you I'm _fine_."

For some reason, Hajime can't look Suga in the eyes. He's not one to lie in general, but withholding truths from Suga has always been something Hajime--and even Tooru--have never been able to do. He's been good about not mentioning Tooru this week, hasn't let on that he's been alone for the past couple of days and slowly losing his mind. Honestly, he's pretty annoyed at himself. He gets one week without his boyfriend and he's--just like Suga pointed out--falling apart. Fucking gross.

He can feel Suga's eyes burning a hole into his face, but after an excruciatingly long moment, he finally sighs.

"Just go home, Iwaizumi. Rest up. You can come back Saturday."

A muscle in Hajime's jaw twitches as he clenches his teeth. He knows he can't fight Suga on this. He's best friends with the manager, a supervisor himself, and is in charge of scheduling. If Suga says he has a three day weekend, then, well.

Except, he doesn't go home. He catches a train and rides further into the city, gets off at a random stop and just starts walking. He keeps himself immersed in large crowds, feeling the press and pull of the people around him. His coughing gets worse as the day wears on, and he starts to feel lightheaded sometime in the afternoon. He takes a break at a café to rest his feet and eat a little food, but he's not really hungry and the pastry doesn't sit right in his stomach. He walks some more.

He doesn't get home till late in the evening, his legs wobbly, feet aching, and a kink in his back he just can't seem to get rid of. He starts a bath, turning the water on as hot as it will go.

He's never liked bathing in hot water, doesn't like the burn. Tooru is the one that likes it, says it helps him relax more. Hajime can understand the importance and the effects the warm water has on overworked muscles, but lukewarm or cold showers are what keep Hajime functioning. Helps him stay awake, stay alert and feeling fresh.

Tonight he doesn't want that though. He brings the portable radio into the bathroom and turns it on, the bathroom mirror already starting to fog.

His breath hitches as he realizes it's still tuned to Tooru's garbage pop station. It's even playing one of his favorite songs.

His fingers itch to flick it off, but instead, he turns the music up louder. It's the closest he's gotten to being near Tooru all week.

How pathetic is he? He's without his boyfriend for five days and he's a mess. A fucking mess that can't sleep, can't eat, apparently can't even work properly. This week was supposed to be about _him_ and his needs. He was going to pamper himself, do all the things he normally can't do. But he can't, because none of it feels _right_. Hajime never thought he'd hate coming home, never thought he'd hate _being_ alone, but he can't stand it. He misses his boyfriend, misses his blanket-hogging, clingy ass and the way he makes their space feel lived in and welcoming. Misses Tooru's mediocre singing and decent cooking. Misses the way the two would tangle themselves on the couch when they watched shitty movies together. The way Tooru would wrap his arms around Hajime's waist from behind in a goodbye hug before they left the apartment for the day.

Hajime dunks his head beneath the scalding water before he can go any further down that path. When he emerges, he reaches up for the radio and turns the music up a bit louder, then flips to his favorite station.

He doesn't know how much longer he can do this.

-x-x-x-

Being the youngest, he doesn't get a chance to charge his phone until he's being dropped off at the train station, which gives him just enough time to get it turned on. He forces his siblings to shut their mouth and wait while his phone gets a sufficient charge, and turns to his mother in the mean time.

She wraps her arms around his shoulders, her hug almost breaking his back. He loves his mother, very much so, but could do without her literally crushing him every time they hug.

"Come visit us soon, Tooru, okay?"

"I will if it's just you and Papa."

She whacks his back for the comment before resuming her crushing grip. He tightens his hold around her.

"I have a wife and kids I would like to see too, you know."

"We all have someone we'd like to see."

"I'm sure your guy is long gone since you weren't around to keep him chained up."

"At least he didn't knock me up on a one-night stand!"

There's an indignant gasp and quiet snickering. Both Tooru and Tomiju sigh before pulling away from each other. He doesn't even bother looking at his siblings as he steps up to his father and snakes his arms around his waist. Besides Hajime, his father gives the best hugs.

Yasuo's voice is soft and whispers past Tooru's ear, fluttering the hair behind his ear. "Tell Hajime we miss him. Maybe we should have brought him along too."

"If you hadn't kidnapped me he would have been here."

His father chuckles. "True. It was still nice having you to ourselves though. I don't think I've ever seen you two separated."

Tooru finally pulls away, forces his expression to remain neutral as he says, "That's because he can't keep his hands off me. I needed a break."

Masaru gives a loud snort. "Yeah, okay,"

"I thought we said no more lies, Tooru!" Kotone calls, her voice grating. Tooru can practically hear Kioshi rolling his eyes. Even his mother shakes her head in amusement.

Tooru doesn't bother hiding it anymore; his shoulders deflate and his expression falls. The week with his family has been nice, but he really misses his boyfriend.

Something hits him from behind and he shouts, turning around to see that Masaru threw Tooru's duffle bag at him. He holds Tooru's phone out the window. "You're going to miss your train."

Tomiju pats his shoulder, Yasuo gives him a quick peck to the top of his head, and then they're both climbing into the van. Tooru stares at each of his family members, his chest swelling with love and nostalgia. Who knows when they're all going to be together like this again? The week started off bumpy, with a lot of yelling and shoving and faces thrown into the dirt, but he's glad it happened. He actually feels a little closer to everyone.

"We love you, Tooru. We'll see you soon." Tomiju gives him one of her softest smiles, the kind she reserves just for him. His eyes burn and he has to blink away the tears as he turns and heads into the station.

He manages to board just in time, and it's as he sits down that he remembers his phone. It's barely charged at 11% and won't be enough to get him home, but it's just enough to check his messages.

Shock laces his system as he sees how many of the missed calls and text messages are actually from Hajime. He feels almost giddy at the idea of checking them all, but instead focuses on the less important ones. Better to get them done and out of the way so he can focus all his attention on his boyfriend.

He's just replying to the last message though when his phone dies.

His gasp is loud enough it has the man in front of him turning to glance over his shoulder. Tooru ignores him as he tries to turn his phone back on, but of course it doesn't work.

Now he really does want to cry. He wants nothing more than to bury his face in Hajime's chest and have his boyfriend's muscular arms wrap around him. He had fun with his family sure, especially when their actual camping plans failed and they ended up at a hot springs resort, but every night his mind would return to the man waiting at home for him and how he'd be coping, and his stomach would twist and turn with guilt and nerves until he fell asleep.

Thankfully, the train ride barely takes an hour. Like the calm adult he is he walks off the train and through the station, and as much as it pains him, he forces himself to walk all the way home. His legs shake with the energy to run to Hajime and his open arms, to run _home_.

He does make it in record time though, and takes the stairs instead of the elevator up to the third floor, panting more from excitement then breathlessness. His hands shake as he slides in his key. He thought about how he'd enter the apartment, whether it would be better to sneak in or just slam open the door. He tries for a mix between the two and enters normally, not trying to hide his presence but ultimately on the lookout for the apartment's other occupant.

Due to their failed plans, they ended up coming home sooner, so it's no surprise that the apartment is dark this time in the afternoon. Tooru's actually not even sure if Hajime would be home yet. He works Fridays so really, Tooru could still have to wait until he sees his boyfriend.

His shoulders slump at that thought, not wanting to wait any more. He's just about ready to run to the restaurant before he catches sight of Hajime's work shoes sloppily kicked off on their way to the kitchen. He picks them up and puts them neatly by the front door before heading back into the kitchen, flipping lights on as he goes, finding more shed clothes spread around the living room and kitchen. There's barely any dishes in the sink, and the trash is barely half full but it _reeks_ so it's clear Hajime never took it out.

Not wanting the apartment to stink any longer, he starts to tie up the garbage bag when he hears a loud sneeze from the bedroom, followed by a rasping cough.

All thoughts of tidying up the place vanish as Tooru swiftly makes his way to their bedroom, not knowing what to expect.

Leaning against the headboard with his arms crossed, piled under blankets and tucked away in one of Tooru's ratty hoodies, is a bleary-eyed Hajime whose face scrunches up in annoyance as the hallway light hits his face.

Tooru starts to chuckle at the sight of his boyfriend cocooned, until he sees the flush to his cheeks and the sweat beading his forehead.

"Hajime?" he whispers. For once in his life Oikawa Tooru is quiet as he tiptoes closer to the bed and sinks onto it next to Hajime, his eyes raking over his boyfriend's face. It's obvious Hajime isn't _just_ sweating, but under some kind of fever. The guilt he pushed away all week surges forward, and Tooru reaches out to pull the hood away from Hajime's face.

His eyes blink rapidly as he turns to stare at Tooru, and then they blow wide when they recognize him. Tooru smiles softly, a mirror image of the smile his mother gave him earlier.

"Hey, sleepyhead."

"Tooru?"

Hajime's voice is raspy, and Tooru immediately wants to run and get him a glass of water.

Instead, he snakes one arm around Hajime's shoulders and pulls them close together, settling his boyfriend against his chest. He uses his free hand to wipe a layer of sweat from Hajime's burning skin, then leans down to press a quick kiss to his forehead. He wants nothing more than to pepper Hajime's face in kisses, but that's not what he needs right now. He wraps his other arm around Hajime and pulls them down so Hajime is practically lying on top of him. He never wants to let this man go again.

Hajime wiggles a hand between them and grips Tooru's forearm, his grip shaky but strong, and that's how Tooru knows Hajime feels the same.

"Miss me?"


End file.
